Don't Stop

So this is going to be one of the philosophical posts I alluded to in my raison d’être. The timing of this is being inspired by the current status of my life and things that have been going on with other people I know.

First of all, what is existentialism? Human existence. The meaning of life. Subjective reality. What is an existential crisis? Answer: my life.

Lately I have been struggling to feel... anything. I am apathetic about everything. My career is nowhere to be found. My job does not stimulate me, the environment is toxic and the pay is embarrassing. My personal life is dry and boring. It is almost summer, an amazing time to be in Montreal – I am not even sure I care.

I am searching for a fire. The fire within me. I can’t seem to find it and my motivation to look has fizzled. I know I want something, I want change. Big changes. I want to feel alive. I am actively seeking some sort of adventure that may possibly give me new perspective, but there has to be a purpose. I have decided that I am willing to drop everything and just go, but where? And why? I believe that once I find a purpose, the rest will follow.

I should feel better knowing that I am not the only one going through this personal journey. But I don’t. I have been a rollercoaster of emotions lately and I am burning out. I have been doing a great job of picking myself up and dusting myself off. It is getting old and I am tired of falling.

I know things will get better and life goes on and blah blah blah. But I am tired. My patience is running thin and I just need something to help keep me going.

To end this post on a positive note, I will share..

some words of wisdom:

The virtue lies in the struggle, not the prize – Richard Monckton Milnes

and a song:

If you wake up and don’t want to smile
If it takes just a little while
Open your eyes and look at the day
You’ll see things in a different way
Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow
Don’t stop, it’ll soon be here
It’ll be better than before
Yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone
                - Fleetwood Mac