It is wedding season, as such I am preparing a few instalments of wedding related posts. Before we get into any specifics or stories, I need to discuss something very important, the corner stone of planning a wedding or any other event. Etiquette.
There is nothing worse than when people do not know proper etiquette and make horrifying and embarrassing errors. Let’s be honest, most people are not well versed in hosting events, therefore you should probably consult with someone, a book, the internet, etc. The resources are there for you, use them. For example, there are certain timelines that you should follow such as when to send invitations, and how soon to send thank you notes (fyi: immediately!!).
One big faux pas is “cash bar” (my how those words turn my stomach). You would not invite someone into your home and ask them to pay to eat or drink. I do not care what honky tonk trailer park you rolled up from, it is NEVER ok to ask people to pay for things. Here come some key words that I may repeat at various times < IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, DON’T DO IT >. It might be your dream to have a big fancy wedding, but that might not be your reality. For this I suggest 2 things, either wait until you can afford this grand affair OR simplify it to reflect your budget. Do you really need hundreds of guests at this event? I am Italian, it is expected that I will have a big fat Italian wedding, but honestly, there are about 30 people that I truly want to share that day with me. So get back to basics and figure out your priorities.
Something else that I personally find absolutely abhorrent is a little event known by various names: stag and doe, buck and doe, jack and jill, whatever you want to call it, it's trash. This is a party and fundraiser for an engaged couple. Yes, you read that correctly FUNDRAISER.
To be more precise here is a little quote from my friend Wikipedia:
It is not a combined bachelor and bachelorette party, or engagement party, as the primary focus is to raise money for the engaged couple, so their new life together is not started in debt. The intent of a stag and doe is specifically to make a profit. Hosting a stag and doe does not preclude the couple from participating in other wedding-related parties, such as a bridal shower, bachelor party, bachelorette party and so on. In addition to purchasing entrance tickets, guests bid on silent auction prizes, participate in 50-50 draw and purchase liquor.
If you are not appalled by this concept, I do NOT want to be your friend. Please don't ever insult me by inviting me to one of these charity grab events. I am Italian, you know this means you will get a lovely gift from your registry for the shower, and a well stuffed envelope the day of your wedding. If you feel that this is not sufficient, you are pathetic and need to re-evalute your life. Once again, if you can't afford it, don't do it.
There is no excuse for failing to adhere to proper etiquette. No matter how unique or different you think you are and that your wedding is so different from the norm, someone else has already done it. Do not think that special rules apply to you regardless of what you are doing there IS a proper way to go about things. Please adhere to proper etiquette, thank you.
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