Friends

I suppose there may not be a universal definition of friendship, as individuals we create our own vision and expectations for things so there may be no real answer to this, but I would like to share my perspective on friendship.

First, I realize that most people only have a few close true friends, and this is where I will emphasize quality over quantity. Beyond that, we have casual friends and then former friends/colleagues, the people you make small talk with when you run into them. Social relationships are part of the human existence. In addition, I am well aware that as life evolves, relationships change. People will come and go in our lives, but the ones who matter will last the test of time.

A friend is someone you can be your true self with, as they say someone who knows you and likes you anyways. I believe that key traits of friendship include, sacrifice, give and take, forgiveness, understanding and communication. A friendship should never be one-sided and they should be nurtured and filled with trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty. Friends have the intuition to know when something is up and know to inquire and lend their support. A true friend stands by your side, through all of the trials and tribulations that life may throw your way.

My only expectation of my friends is that they make an effort. We live in an era of global communication, it is not that difficult to find ways to stay in touch and reach out to your friends. For those who believe that “busy” is a valid excuse, my response is simply that you have poor time management skills, and as a friend I would offer to help you with that. I am very busy, and I regularly communicate with people who are even busier than I am. If we can make it work, anyone can.

Some may disagree, but I believe that my friendship is an earned privilege and I equally believe that I should earn the friendship of others. The reason that I feel it is a privilege is because I give all of myself to my friends and I do not appreciate those who are undeserving taking advantage of my good nature. Being my friend comes with an impressive benefits package.

Benefits include but are not limited to, unlimited communication minutes, advice when requested and even when not requested, unconditional support, respect, packing and moving services, dog sitting, baby sitting, overseeing home renovations while you are away, private investigation of intriguing individuals, etc. I do all of this and more with the only expectation being that in return, when the time comes and I need something, my friend will return the favour.

To those who are genuine with me, thank you for being a friend.

“Understand that friends come and go, but a precious few who should hold on, work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, for as the older you get the more you need the people you knew when you were young.” – Baz Luhrman

Chaos in Crowds

Once again I am reminded how social norms and graces have faded and we live in an egocentric society, in addition to the fact that general stupidity increases with crowd size.  Here are a few examples based on my recent experiences, particularly during the celebration of Canada Day in Ottawa.

A quick tip for managing yourself in a crowd: planning! Know what you are getting yourself into and prepare for it. Going to Parliament Hill during an official visit by the Duke and Duchess, it was reported that crowds were anticipated to be over 300,000 people. My friends at Environment Canada warned me that it would be hot and sunny. Water, sunscreen, knowledge of my surroundings all provided an enjoyable experience on Canada Day. The crowd was large, and if you wanted to exit the crowd, essentially the only option was finagling your way backwards. Through this:

 This is the only way out. Good luck!

If you have a low IQ, learn to speak quietly. I understand that you might not realize how dumb you sound, but you may want to consider the people in your general network and their level of intelligence, it will likely reflect yours. Typically, in your effort to sound smart and sophisticated, you attain the opposite result. Just because you know it is called a Fascinator, does not impress me, especially when you follow that big word with reference to a maple leaf being a “Canada Leaf”.  

When did being considerate stop being the norm? Cutting in line and thrusting through crowds - who are you? You do not get to bypass protocol. If you wanted to be in a certain place, perhaps you should have planned better. And no, this isn’t Disney, there is no fast pass. If you think about it, it is probably one of the very first things you ever learned in school, how to line up. Our world is filled with lines, and waiting in them, don’t act like this is a foreign concept.

Also, if people are being reasonable, it is unreasonable for you to interfere with what they are doing. Quick newsflash, fireworks happen in the sky, therefore you do not need to stand and block my seated view of them, nor do you need to run toward them.

There is a definite lack of respect in society. Everyone deserves respect. With that said, a certain subset of society that you should pay particular respect to: law enforcement. If you think that mouthing off to a cop is going to get you anywhere other than in cuffs, think again.

Now for a bit of a sub-topic: Kids in crowds.

First I want to share a beautiful commentary on parenting and managing children in public. LZ Granderson made my day with this article. The footnote reads that the opinions are solely those of Granderson. I disagree, since they are absolutely my opinion too!!!

Why would you subject your children to such pandemonium? The Canada Day set up included multiple “lost children” tents. Those are designed for inadequate parents. Does your kid really care what Stephen Harper has to say? Do they want to hear the loud 21 gun salute or fly over? Do they really know who the Royals are? If you want to be part of this event, find a babysitter!

The ULTIMATE pet peeve on this topic: STROLLERS!!! (aka: fortress on wheels, baby SUV, etc.). Where on Earth do you think you are going with that contraption in a crowd that involves being shoulder to shoulder, ass to crotch, in your face with hundreds of thousands of people. This also extends to pets, your dog is going to get trampled. All of these behaviours are simply asking for trouble. Solution: DON’T DO IT.

Moreover, rush hour is not the place to extend some independence to your child. When mass exodus is occurring on public transportation, particularly at the end of the day, pick up your kid and move it. I’m hot, tired, hungry and cranky, I’m sorry if I just whacked your kid in the head with my bag.

Hope everyone had a great long weekend on both sides of the border!

Trials of Travel

I am back and I had a great vacation! But this is a post about the travel process and as they say life happens when you are making other plans. Some say that when everything goes according to plan, it may make a vacation a little boring, some of the best times and stories come from mishaps and unexpected situations. However, I still want to rant about my latest adventure.

 

As my flight from Barbados to New York was landing, I noticed that the ground was a bit wet, but the weather seemed to be fine otherwise. After slowly waiting to pass through immigration, and then attempting to figure out which terminal I was supposed to be at (with no real direction from any map or other information guide - simply what I was told by the ticket agent back in Barbados), I decided to take the AirTrain to terminal 5, because I think that is what he said. Well it was true, but as I was heading toward security I noticed the flight board listed my connecting flight as cancelled. This must be some sort of mistake, so instead of talking to a ticket agent, I pass through security and head toward my gate, where there are no people and the flight screen is OFF. I then check my email to see that I am now scheduled to fly out Thursday at 3:35pm, did I mention this was Wednesday at 8:00pm. Hmm, this can't be happening, I say to myself. I walk over to the "JustAsk" desk, where I wait behind 2 pairs of cranky people who missed their flight because of their own stupidity after some sort of security breach delayed their flight. I waited patiently, and kept my calm.

 

The lovely employee behind the desk informed me that my flight was cancelled due to weather and that all other earlier flights on Thursday were booked solid. She told me I could find hotel information downstairs near the welcome desk, or attempt to sleep at gate 14 which had 2 "comfy chairs". My only compensation was a $12 meal voucher, that was supposed to ease the annoyance of a now 20 hour layover. Like, I can appreciate my own safety, if a flight is cancelled due to weather, that is fine and I know this is out of the control of the airline. But is a small meal the best you can do over 20 hours? You provide no help in finding accomodations, the earliest flight you can put me on is 20 hours later, like what a joke!

 

After a momentary debate with myself, I realize the price of a hotel room is worth my sanity for the night. I go down to the information center where I am informed that it appears there are no hotel rooms in the area available, but I can try at the curtosy phone. I called over 20 hotels, NOTHING AVAILABLE!!! At this point I had phoned my mother, who was also doing research of her own. Even hotels outside of the airport zone had NO VACANCY. How is this possible, it is a random Wednesday and it didn't seem like an extreme amount of flights were cancelled. I went back and asked the lady about other info for hotels a bit further, or even motels, or B&B's or short term apartment rentals. She looked at me like I was from space. Like WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE HERE? I need accomodations, and your answer is "oh looks like everything is full". Actually, between her and the other employee, their best advice to me, was to go back to terminal 4, since there would be "more stuff to look at".

 

In the end it all worked out for me thanks to being part of a big Italian family: my mother called my father's aunt in North Carolina, for her son in New York's phone number, she then called him and asked if he knew of anything I could do, place to go etc. His answer was to pick me up and take me back to his apartment and put me up for the night. What a relief. I wouldn't mind spending the night in the airport if I had an early flight, but all night and then all day again. No thanks. If anyone is looking for a business venture.. open another hotel near JFK airport! Or maybe airports should consider setting up some sort of hostel type accomodations for people who did not anticipate having to spend a night in the airport and have no funds for a hotel, especially when there are no hotel rooms available!!

 

Seems like customer service still has a long way to go. At least this happened on my return and didn't cut into my time at the beach. Now that I have crossed Barbados off my list, where will I go next?

Disappointment has a name

Here comes my first (of many, I’m sure) rant on the blog...

I have realized that I am an anomaly in today’s society. I can honestly say that I am reliable and have integrity – can you?

If you make plans, however casual, follow through. Do not even imply making plans with someone if you are not willing to commit. Please respect me enough to not waste my time. Also, if you need to cancel plans, be sure that it is for a good reason. I don’t want to find out that you decided to bail on me, half an hour after our scheduled outing, to go feed the pigeons at the park.

A general tip for everyone, learn to be punctual. No one is interested in waiting for you. Unless you enjoy having people pissed off with you, be on time. To those of you who are chronically tardy, have you ever realized that when group plans are made, you are told an earlier start time than everyone else? Pathetic. If you are always late, maybe you should re-evaluate your planning skills.

Don’t be a pussy, say what you mean and mean what you say. If you want to say NO to something then do it – of course there is a diplomatic way to approach it, but don’t dick people around. Furthermore, cut the crap. I don’t want a song and dance about everything you do. Make your point and get on with it. Actually this leads to my next point: shit or get off the pot. Enough frolicking around in the tulips, if you are going to do something – do it, otherwise stop talking about it and move on.

If someone emails you – respond, and in a timely fashion. Particularly if they have asked you a question. If you don’t have the answer, acknowledge the request and explain that you are either searching for answer or simply don’t have it. This also applies to text and phone messages.

My next point is a tribute to all of my friends who have left our hometown to better ourselves. When we come back to town for a visit, please recognize that we are not home for an infinite amount of time and of the time that we do have, there are a lot of demands and expectations pressed upon it. If you genuinely want to see me, it is up to you to do what it takes to make it work. I have limited flexibility and my time is running out one second at a time. I will not chase after you.

NEWSFLASH: You are not that special, your time is not more important than another person’s. Show some respect and brush up on your manners.