Friends

I suppose there may not be a universal definition of friendship, as individuals we create our own vision and expectations for things so there may be no real answer to this, but I would like to share my perspective on friendship.

First, I realize that most people only have a few close true friends, and this is where I will emphasize quality over quantity. Beyond that, we have casual friends and then former friends/colleagues, the people you make small talk with when you run into them. Social relationships are part of the human existence. In addition, I am well aware that as life evolves, relationships change. People will come and go in our lives, but the ones who matter will last the test of time.

A friend is someone you can be your true self with, as they say someone who knows you and likes you anyways. I believe that key traits of friendship include, sacrifice, give and take, forgiveness, understanding and communication. A friendship should never be one-sided and they should be nurtured and filled with trust, honesty, sincerity and loyalty. Friends have the intuition to know when something is up and know to inquire and lend their support. A true friend stands by your side, through all of the trials and tribulations that life may throw your way.

My only expectation of my friends is that they make an effort. We live in an era of global communication, it is not that difficult to find ways to stay in touch and reach out to your friends. For those who believe that “busy” is a valid excuse, my response is simply that you have poor time management skills, and as a friend I would offer to help you with that. I am very busy, and I regularly communicate with people who are even busier than I am. If we can make it work, anyone can.

Some may disagree, but I believe that my friendship is an earned privilege and I equally believe that I should earn the friendship of others. The reason that I feel it is a privilege is because I give all of myself to my friends and I do not appreciate those who are undeserving taking advantage of my good nature. Being my friend comes with an impressive benefits package.

Benefits include but are not limited to, unlimited communication minutes, advice when requested and even when not requested, unconditional support, respect, packing and moving services, dog sitting, baby sitting, overseeing home renovations while you are away, private investigation of intriguing individuals, etc. I do all of this and more with the only expectation being that in return, when the time comes and I need something, my friend will return the favour.

To those who are genuine with me, thank you for being a friend.

“Understand that friends come and go, but a precious few who should hold on, work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, for as the older you get the more you need the people you knew when you were young.” – Baz Luhrman

Chaos in Crowds

Once again I am reminded how social norms and graces have faded and we live in an egocentric society, in addition to the fact that general stupidity increases with crowd size.  Here are a few examples based on my recent experiences, particularly during the celebration of Canada Day in Ottawa.

A quick tip for managing yourself in a crowd: planning! Know what you are getting yourself into and prepare for it. Going to Parliament Hill during an official visit by the Duke and Duchess, it was reported that crowds were anticipated to be over 300,000 people. My friends at Environment Canada warned me that it would be hot and sunny. Water, sunscreen, knowledge of my surroundings all provided an enjoyable experience on Canada Day. The crowd was large, and if you wanted to exit the crowd, essentially the only option was finagling your way backwards. Through this:

 This is the only way out. Good luck!

If you have a low IQ, learn to speak quietly. I understand that you might not realize how dumb you sound, but you may want to consider the people in your general network and their level of intelligence, it will likely reflect yours. Typically, in your effort to sound smart and sophisticated, you attain the opposite result. Just because you know it is called a Fascinator, does not impress me, especially when you follow that big word with reference to a maple leaf being a “Canada Leaf”.  

When did being considerate stop being the norm? Cutting in line and thrusting through crowds - who are you? You do not get to bypass protocol. If you wanted to be in a certain place, perhaps you should have planned better. And no, this isn’t Disney, there is no fast pass. If you think about it, it is probably one of the very first things you ever learned in school, how to line up. Our world is filled with lines, and waiting in them, don’t act like this is a foreign concept.

Also, if people are being reasonable, it is unreasonable for you to interfere with what they are doing. Quick newsflash, fireworks happen in the sky, therefore you do not need to stand and block my seated view of them, nor do you need to run toward them.

There is a definite lack of respect in society. Everyone deserves respect. With that said, a certain subset of society that you should pay particular respect to: law enforcement. If you think that mouthing off to a cop is going to get you anywhere other than in cuffs, think again.

Now for a bit of a sub-topic: Kids in crowds.

First I want to share a beautiful commentary on parenting and managing children in public. LZ Granderson made my day with this article. The footnote reads that the opinions are solely those of Granderson. I disagree, since they are absolutely my opinion too!!!

Why would you subject your children to such pandemonium? The Canada Day set up included multiple “lost children” tents. Those are designed for inadequate parents. Does your kid really care what Stephen Harper has to say? Do they want to hear the loud 21 gun salute or fly over? Do they really know who the Royals are? If you want to be part of this event, find a babysitter!

The ULTIMATE pet peeve on this topic: STROLLERS!!! (aka: fortress on wheels, baby SUV, etc.). Where on Earth do you think you are going with that contraption in a crowd that involves being shoulder to shoulder, ass to crotch, in your face with hundreds of thousands of people. This also extends to pets, your dog is going to get trampled. All of these behaviours are simply asking for trouble. Solution: DON’T DO IT.

Moreover, rush hour is not the place to extend some independence to your child. When mass exodus is occurring on public transportation, particularly at the end of the day, pick up your kid and move it. I’m hot, tired, hungry and cranky, I’m sorry if I just whacked your kid in the head with my bag.

Hope everyone had a great long weekend on both sides of the border!